My Art Work

For some people taking a bath, a walk, is a way to escape from everything. I have a lot things I love doing, and God has blessed me with these wonderful gifts. One of my favorite things to do is to sketch.

 I have been sketching from the age of 5. Teachers in first grade were so intrigued, with the details I put in the pictures. At the age 6 I was drawing images of people, body structures, instead of stick people as a child at the age would draw. I have won ribbons for a few of my pictures. First one was in 5th grade. It is sad, I don't have these. My mother failed in saving them for me. The only one I did manage to keep is the one I won a ribbon for in 9th grade. Unfortunately it is deteriorating, due to the type of paper the sketch was done on.  I did have it laminated, so hopefully, this has saved it from any further deterioration.

When I sit down with my pencils, crayons, etc; I am escaping into another world.  Drawing a line can take you any where.  Shading, with the hand moving so gently, filling in places that need to be filled in.  It's almost as if the hand is breathing for you lungs.  Breathing life into a piece of paper or canvas.  My sketches may not be good enough for others, but they are good enough for me. When I am drawing these pictures, I do it for me. I don't care if anyone else likes them or not, or if they aren't the perfect image. It was my world and no one else's. Like memories. No one can take memories away from you. Such as the laughter of your children.

Its funny too.  Sometimes I can be sitting in the Mall, get an inspiration to  sketch, such as the picture of the girl that is on this page.  My daughter and I was in the Mall one day, she was reading a book while we were relaxing after doing some school shopping.  I had a paper bag, a pencil and started drawing her picture.  Unfortunately, this is not the original drawing, the original was on a brown paper bag, and it is hard to see, I do still have that bag.   The sketch of the dog, is the dog I had a one time.  Tazzy,  he was laying on the floor looking up at me.  I did have the proper paper that time.  I call these Moments.


I wanted to go to school for Art. But never did. Didn't have the encouragement. I would say ambition, but maybe I would had the ambition, if I was given the encouragement. And really I think I would had enjoyed the career in art. I have a X brother in law, who did go to a trade school for art. He is very good at what he does. I think its great he was able to accomplish what he wanted to do. And as far as I know he is happy with it too. He was given the encouragement, so he had the ambition.

Even though, I didn't get to study, and didn't have the ambition, I still have the gift to sketch when I feel like it. I can draw pictures to make me feel good. Sometimes they are pictures of animals, faces, trees, sometimes dreams, such as the dragon I drew. I do hang some of these creations in my home. Its funny, just looking at these pictures, I can escape into the world that no one else can touch. The world of peace, beauty, relaxation, a place I am welcomed at.

What will happen to my sketches when I leave  this world?  I am leaving them to my children and grand children.  They won't be worth a penny, maybe  they will mean something to them and maybe carry one the encouragement for the ambition.

If you have a child that is interested in Art. Please don't discourage them. Whether it be in dancing, singing, painting, etc. Stand behind them and give them the encouragement. Maybe they won't be able to live on it, but they have the opportunity, to learn all they can about it. It is something they can keep with them no matter what else they might do in their lives. Encourage, to give Ambition.

Endometriosis "The Emotional Pain"

I had posted in May about living with Pain. This will be about the
Emotional Pain. About how others are very callous of what I am living with.

I have lived with this horrible thing for many years. Many think, since they can't see the ailment, must be in your head. It hurts me deep inside when people treat me like that. I don't mean physical pain, I am talking about emotional pain. And they will use this a tool to hurt me, when they are weak and can't find some way to get at me.

I have typed information of my history. All the surgeries I have had in my life. What the surgeries were for, out comes. No matter what the surgery was. Lists of Doctors I had in Iowa and Nebraska. List of Medications from the past and presents. Then there is a brief history and cover letter that goes with it. I give this information to every doctor I see. They appreciate the details and information I provide for them.

I had not been able to see a doctor for quite some time, due to the lack of insurance. Just recently I have gotten the insurance. In April I tore some scar tissue in the lower part of my abdomen. It was very painful. I should had gone to the hospital. But I couldn't. It took me 2 months to recover from this.

July I saw a doctor, of whom, I am not seeing again. This was the first and last time I was to see her. She immediately attacked me when she came into the room. Telling me the Physicians should not had told me the details of my surgeries. Because it planted in my head, how horrible it was, and this is why I think I have pain. I had a total hysterectomy and it took care of the disease, so its not longer there, and the pain is all in the back of my mind. She was nearly on the verge of screaming at me. Then she gave me some medication, said it was a relaxant for the stomach. This would take care of the cramps I have. Cramps??? I know the difference between cramps and pain. Come On!! Then she said she takes these pills herself and don't leave home without them. Okay. I got the prescription filled. I was so doped up from them. Zombie is what I was. This doctor said she don't leave home with out them. HMMMM! What do we have here for doctor??

Many, and I do say MANY people think, I what is should say, believe the hysterectomy is a total cure. For some maybe it is. And if it is, I am happy for you. Don't judge someone else on your personal experience. As they say, what might work for one may not work for others. And don't judge others, because you know someone who had the hysterectomy and they are doing Great! Once again, I am happy for them.
I don't talk very often about what I have or how I may be feeling.

My X husband was telling people it was in my head. The hysterectomy cured me. Ha, this is the person that left me in a dark room for 6 hours, there abouts, not even check on me. I was so bound up with pain, I couldn't get out of bed to go to the bathroom or get a glass of water. I couldn't roll over on my side, because the pain was so great , I would vomit, it hurt to call out for help. Another time, he laid me on the floor when I had an attack, stepped over me, immediately went back to his TV, to continue watching it. This is not the tip of the iceberg, folks!

The Man in my life now. Worries about me a lot. He really cares. If I am laid up in bed, he checks on me often. Makes sure I eat, even if I don't want to. He sees how it drains me at times, without me having to say anything, not that I do anyway. He can always tell when I am having problems, I tend to turn very white. My son is there for me as well. Most of the time, as I have always in the past, when I start having problems, I go hide in the bathroom.

I am happy to say, I have found a Family Physician. And she is great. She sent to a Digestive Specialist. They are great. They listened, didn't treat me I had no clue what was going on. The Digestive Doctor read my history. It made me feel so good, when he said, I was a strong person, for all I have been through. He said the disease is still there, and has caused problems with the intestinal area. LOL. Well that proves, its not in my head, its in my abdomen.

Just because you can't see someone's ailments, does not mean they are not suffering. There are so many hidden diseases people suffer with, that can't be seen with the naked eye. Chrones Disease, fibromyalgia, etc. Ignorance is a disease that can be cured. Others need to stop wearing blinders and open their heart, if they have one.

I (we) are not asking for pity. All we are asking is for compassion, and some understanding. If that can't be done. Don't be rude. It's better to say nothing at all.

Note: To all my friends and love ones, I appreciate the time you have given me in my hours of suffering. The compassion and understanding. You know where the boundaries are. Thank you. God Bless You.